Obituaries & memorials
What to write in an obituary
An obituary carries two jobs at once: it shares the facts people need, and it says, in a few lines, who this person was. Here is what to include.
When someone dies, an obituary is often the first thing the family is asked to produce, and it can feel impossible to compress a whole person into a few paragraphs. You do not have to. A good obituary covers a handful of clear things, and then lets one or two true details do the rest.
The facts people are looking for
- Full name, including a maiden name or a nickname everyone knew them by.
- Age, and where they lived.
- When they died — the date, and optionally where and how.
- Key life facts — where they were born, their work, their service, the things they built or gave their time to.
The people
Obituaries traditionally name who the person leaves behind and who went before them — the survived by and preceded in death by lines. List close family first. There is no rule that forces you to include or exclude anyone; families make these calls for their own reasons, and that is allowed.
The service
If arrangements are set, give the date, time, and place of the service or gathering, and note whether it is public. If details are not settled yet, it is perfectly normal to write that they will follow.
One true thing
Beyond the facts, write a single line only you would know — a habit, a saying, a small kindness they were known for. That is the sentence people underline and remember. It is what turns a notice into an obituary.
In lieu of flowers
If the family would like to direct donations somewhere — a charity, a cause, a memorial fund — this is where you say so. It is optional, and always kindly received.
When you are ready, you can start their memorial and draft the obituary here, with help, and keep every version as you shape it.
Common questions
- Do I have to include the cause of death?
- No. It is entirely the family's choice. Many obituaries say only that the person died peacefully, or name a cause only when the family wants to raise awareness. There is no obligation either way.
- What does 'in lieu of flowers' mean?
- It is a gentle way to direct people's generosity toward a cause the person cared about instead of, or alongside, flowers. You might name a charity, a memorial fund, or a scholarship. It is optional.
Create a memorial for the person you love
Start with their name. It is free, takes a minute, and no account is needed.